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I'm so grateful for my life now.
Looking back, I was a mess.
A beautiful mess. HAHA NO LAA.
Just a mess. Partying and drinking.
It was awesome as memories.
But thinking back how much I could
save, $60 for every friday and saturday.
Wow, just wow. But I never regret one thing.
That is S K A T E B O A R D I N G.
Insyallah if I feel my ankles is ready,
I will be back at the park. I will.
I've been club-free and alcohol-free for
4 years now. Alhamdulillah. Syukur.
It was me, myself that wanted to stop all that.
Not for a girl, friends or brothers.
I wanted to make myself a better person,
a better muslim. Of course I did pray back
then but it was different compared to now.
Everyday I pray for my family, myself and
the girl in my dreams.
And for my crush (the girl in my dreams),
she still doesn't know it. Eventhough I
personally asked her what to do for my
situation. I pretended to have crush on
someone else and asked my crush to give
advice or her opinions on it. I just can't.
I mean I don't want to ruin our friendship,
the closeness that we have/share. I even
shared secrets of my life to her.
Like personal, okay. And now idk why she's
like so different. Like we don't joke around
like we used to. No pinching and all. Childish,
to you maybe. But for me that's bonding.
Now she will talk to me only if others haven't
reach workplace or like one two questions.
I hate it. To others, she talks normally and
joke around all. This feeling sucks. But oh
well, I can always pretend like I don't care.
The fact is that I'm slowly dying inside seeing
all that. It's alright. I won't give up still.
Not now, not yet. Goodnight msspwn.
